Tag Archives: cyber stalking

Your Father Isn’t… Charlie

7 Jan

I met Charlie at a friend’s birthday party and we hit it off talking about the developing importance of behavioral economics. Throughout the night I find myself talking to him again and again, although I can never really tell what he means by it. Toward the end of the night, instead of asking for my number, Charlie suggests we exchange business cards. I figure we connected on an intellectual level, so we’re solidly in the friend zone. I’m ok with that.

Imagine my surprise to receive an email the next afternoon on my work email account, suggesting we meet up for lunch sometime, and asking that I suggest a date and time. I hadn’t expected to hear from him at all and now he is asking me out on a maybe-date?

I realize that I don’t know much about him at all, and since he is a friend of a friend at the party, none of my friends can tell me much either. So once we set a date for lunch, I need to know more, so I fire up my 21st century P.I.: Google.

Now, I’m a decently-skilled cyber stalker. Certainly not the best (like Alex) but I can usually find what I’m looking for. I flip through the results, finding Charlie’s college, law school, and current company, all of which he told me when we met, so no red flags yet.

When I stumble across his LinkedIn profile, I make sure to first log out of my own account so my “research” doesn’t leave any tracks. I’m proud of myself for adeptly sidestepping that little trap, when a few items down  on the search results something catches my eye:


He has an OkCupid profile? Maybe this really is a date… I’m still puzzling over what this means when I click the link.


Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no! OkCupid has me automatically logged in to my profile and will not only show that I looked up his profile just minutes after our email conversation, but will send him a pop up notice RIGHT NOW if he’s online. In my panic, I close the window before it even loads, but the damage is done.

A few minutes later, while I’m still banging my head on my desk in humiliation, a notification pops up. A message. From Charlie.

“Lol. So you’re on here too.”

I respond:

“haha yea, well that’s only a tiny bit embarrassing. I completely forgot that I would be logged in automatically when I clicked on the link.

Not that I was googling you or anything.

I just keep making this worse, huh? 🙂 “

Charlie responds a minute later:

“Lol lol lol that made my day.”


Kids, that’s the last I ever heard from Charlie, so let’s learn a lesson from this. I’m not going to tell you not to cyber stalk. I’m telling you to do a better job of it.